How do I describe the darkness inside my head?
The noise, the sound of silence mixed with thoughts
of confusion; States of anarchy and perplexity
run amuck to bring me down to destruction.
They–these thoughts, these people–
are indeed trying to destroy me.
They grow weary of my knowledge,
pretending they know me
and trying to place me in their world.
I am not a toy nor a “yes man.”
Faith is not the enemy of knowledge,
but I am the enemy of ignorance.
I hate it, disdain it, abhor it, anger it,
but never serve it.
Clouded thoughts can not think for themselves,
but I try to clear them away, try to see the light,
try to understand what the light is.
I beat my head on this splintered wall
until I bleed from desperation.
Forever I grasp to reach forever
and discover yet again
a bloody mess, empty hands,
and a heart that longs to be found
but forever lost among the darkness.