Last night, after getting off work later than I thought, I was still in the mood to cook. For some strange reason, it relaxes me. What is even more astounding is that I was also in the mood for pizza. Given that I deliver pizzas for Pizza Hut, you would think that I would be sick of pizza, but I am not. I eat it even more that I used to. I decided on flat bread pizzas.

My journey for food started me out at Save-A-Lot where I picked up a back of Mozzarella Cheese, a bag of Pepperoni, and a bag of Sharp Cheddar Cheese that I thought I would use with some salad items I had back at the apartment. But Save-A-Lot is Save-A-Lot and they did not have A-Lot of what I needed. I trekked up to the nearest grocery store and picked up some flat bread, pizza sauce and some ranch dressing. I came back home, baked up three small flat bread pizzas and ate two of them with a really good salad before them. I was happy and relaxed.

This morning, my friend Josh invited me out to CiCi’s Pizza with him tonight after praise and worship practice. I decided that it probably would pizza me out if I had flat bread pizzas again for lunch and then pizza for dinner too. I remembered I had some bacon in the freezer and some eggs, so for lunch I decided I would have breakfast. I got the skillet nice and hot ready for the bacon. Three strips down and they sizzled and smelled great. The burned a little on one side, but that made them nice and crispy so I did not mind. After pulling out the three strips, I had three left, so I decided I might as well fry them up to. Here’s is where the fun begins.

I forgot to drain the grease from the first three strips. Thus, when I dropped the first raw bacon strip down into the pan, the grease splashed up and burned the snot out of my middle finger on my right hand. (I can’t wait to show people.) After immediately getting my finger under cold water, I went ahead and placed the other two strips in and went back to nursing my finger. All of a sudden, I noticed a great deal of smoke building up in my apartment and then realized that I had got the second batch of bacon very crispy. I pulled the skillet off the burner just in time for the smoke alarm to go off. The smoke alarm in my building is hard-wired to the rest fo the fire system. Any other smoke alarm would have allowed me to simply remove the batteries and wait for the smoke to clear and then hook it back up. Not this one. Since it is hard-wired to an apartment wide system, it usually means that the alarm goes off for the entire apartment and it means that security for the university is notified. I was lucky that the whole apartment system did not go off. I thought that if I got a fan going and opened the windows that the smoke would clear and the alarm would go off. Not so. A security guard shows up at my door wanting to know if everything is ok. Seeing the smoke, she asked, “What happened?”
“I burned some bacon,” I explained.
“Well, can you unplug the smoke detector?”
“No, it is hard-wired,” I explained. She needed to see it, which meant that she needed to come into my apartment and wade through all my messy stuff. (Since Kandice is not here, I do not spend a lot of time cleaning.) After inspecting the hardware, she decided to reset that alarm and that did the trick. The alarm went off and I was left, unburned, but embarassed.

But wait, I’m not done. I still had to eat lunch somehow and I still did not want pizza. I still had some eggs and I figured that I could use some diced ham I had bought and the cheeses and make a mean omelet. I get my eggs whipped and I put them in the skillet, carelful not to have the skillet too hot or the eggs would burn. After I was convinced that the eggs were cooking at the right temperature, I put the diced ham in with a generous portion of each of the cheeses because I love cheese. I made a mean omelet alright. And a big one. So big I couldn’t close it. I got it almost closed, but it was much too big to use a spatula to put it on a plate so I had to use two spatulas. After getting it in the plate, I realized that part of the omelet was not done. I decided to put in back in the skillet and scramble it. So, I made the first scrambled ham and cheese omelet.

It wasn’t bad, but after all the work I had put into a this meal, I was too tired to enjoy it. I ate about half the omelet and gave up.

Moral of the story: One good meal does not make another.

Perhaps I will stick with cereal.

Kandice come home soon. 🙂


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